Kirk Herbstreit Reminds Viewers That He Was Once Quarterback for Ohio State

In what sources are describing to be another valiant attempt to prove his credibility, on Saturday morning Kirk Herbstreit reiterated to ESPN College Gameday viewers that at one point in his life he was quarterback for the Ohio State University Buckeyes.

“It’s situations like these that remind me of playing Michigan in the Big House and completing 28 passes for 271 yards in 1992,” Herbstreit said after an early first quarter touchback in a 0-0 game between Texas and Oklahoma.

            Moments later, after Texas quarterback Colt McCoy was forced to throw the ball away, Mr. Herbstreit drew another connection to his playing days.

            “You know, when I played quarterback for THE Ohio State Buckeyes, I was team captain and was voted MVP by my teammates, so I completely respect Colt's decision to throw it away here,” Herbstreit said to millions of viewers who all simultaneously rolled their eyes and buried their hands in their face.

            An inside source, who spoke on the condition of anonymity out of fear of retaliation from Herbstreit, said that during the following commercial break Herbstreit darted out of the commentator’s booth, found producer Justin Graves and begged Graves to put up a picture of him paying for the Buckeyes in the 90s.

            When Graves informed the ESPN analyst that no one had a picture of him playing football, Mr. Herbstreit became visibly agitated and began furiously patting himself down.

            ‘Keys… KEYS!” Mr. Herbstreit said. “Where the fuck are my keys?”

            The long time commentator located his keys, which were in his front pocket, and frantically started out of the producer’s booth.

            “I’ve got some great shots in my trunk!" Herbstreit called behind him as he knocked over several pieces of production equipment. "Make sure Lee (Corso) keeps talking about me while I’m gone, I don’t want this picture to feel forced when we put it up!”  

            Four and a half minutes later Mr. Herbstreit was back on the air lightly panting as fellow ESPN analysts and commentators Lee Corso and Chris Fowler took playful jabs at Herbstreit for his “silly” 90s hairdo.            

            Herbstreit feigned embarrassment and coyly asked, “What vault did you guys find that one in?”